Ethan has this infuriating trait. I don't know whether it's to
do with Aspergers or whether it's just Ethan - maybe one of you readers can
enlighten me? I suspect it's the former.
When he's verbally relaying something, he misses out big chunks
of information - often the most crucial parts - without which his sentence
doesn't make sense. For example, he'll come in from work with two boxes of
biscuits and, when quizzed about their origin, will tell me that 50 per cent of
the staff are couples. To which I'll reply "Which staff and why have they
given you biscuits?" He'll look at me, brow furrowed in incomprehension
and tell me "the staff at the biscuit factory." When I point out that
he didn't mention he'd been to a biscuit factory, he'll swear that he did. The
more I beg to differ, the more irritated he'll become.
A couple of weeks ago, when we were chatting with friends, he bought up the ice-bucket challenge. As is Ethan's trademark, he was moaning: criticising how many people were doing it, why they were doing it (just for show, according to Ethan), that celebrities were using it as a way to bolster support, etc, etc. I interrupted his rant to ask what the challenge actually was. Ethan, seeming annoyed by my interruption, dismissively told me, "you're meant to donate to a charity to do it" before launching back into his tirade. I persisted: "But what actually is it? What do you do?" "It's a challenge. People nominate you to do it," replied Ethan. (I think that herein lies the source of Ethan's problem with it - no-one had nominated him and no-one is likely to). I screeched with frustration: "What do you get nominated to do????" At this point, a friend stepped in before I shattered, through sheer stress and strain, into a million tiny pieces, and explained that you get ice cold water thrown all over you. Ethan looked as exasperated with me as I felt with him. "That's why it's called the ice-bucket challenge," he said.
I don't know what causes it. My theory is that he's so
focused on the particular point he's wanting to make, that he bypasses all
additional information - however vital. And that if you ask a question that doesn't relate to what his mind's focussing on, his mind will translate it into something that does require the response he wants to make! Either that or, to him, the basic
information is so, well, basic that, subconsciously, it doesn't even warrant
needing to be said. I think that sometimes he'll forget that you, as the
listener, don't have the basic framework of information that he is beginning
his sentence from. In his mind, his thoughts have moved beyond paddling in the shallows to, by the time he articulates verbally, swimming in the deep sea - meanwhile
you are still sunbathing on the beach!