Saturday, 12 July 2014
Aspergers and self-control (or lack of it)
Anyone else experience an utter lack of self-control in their Aspergers spouse?
Be it a family size tub of Pringles, treats for the kids' lunchboxes, a bottle of wine or a 'share size' (the clue's in the labelling) tub of Ben and Jerry's - he polishes off the lot with gay abandon. Never a thought for the other four people in his family, most significantly for me for his hard-working wife (yes, I know, he works hard too) who might fancy a glass of wine when she gets in, or for the next day when our cupboards are bare! He seems to live completely in the moment - as a child would.
He doesn't seem to have a 'moderation' switch in his brain - everything is all or nothing. Whether it's extreme dieting (after a week of polishing off all our crisps and chocolate) where he eats nothing all day until tea-time and comes home from lugging heavy equipment around all day faint with hunger, or DIY projects that take over his mind so completely and utterly that his family cease to exist until the task is done. He just doesn't seem able to do something - anything - 'a little bit'.
It doesn't make him the worst person in the world but it is pretty annoying when you've been looking forward to your favourite programme with some ice-cream all day only to find, when you open the freezer door, that it's all gone. It doesn't make you feel very considered - or even remembered at all. Does he recollect, as he slurps the last bit of ice-cream from the tub, that he has a wife - who might like some too?!
And, in all honesty, I find it hard sometimes to respect a man who has trouble controlling himself. It doesn't make you feel you can comfortably trust yourself and your family to his care and leadership. Maybe I'm being a bit harsh - but that's how it makes me feel.
Now, where are those Pringles I hid under the bed?!