tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7865747070830670145.post3493997954326989421..comments2023-09-25T03:30:46.607-07:00Comments on Muddling through - an Aspergers tale: Lessons in Aspergers from Scowl the owlLaurahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09427610766862329769noreply@blogger.comBlogger4125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7865747070830670145.post-74194795805469522682014-11-24T11:57:49.433-08:002014-11-24T11:57:49.433-08:00Laura, that is an incredibly honest answer, and on...Laura, that is an incredibly honest answer, and one that I truly can identify with, I often wonder why I married Mr H, especially when he is driving me insane, but like you, he made me feel safe and gave me stability after a pretty rocky time as a single mother of 3 boys, and also like you, I felt a need to nurture him. ( sorry for that very long sentence!) I think now that I made a wrong decision, but it's too late now, so I have to make the best of it. We get on ok these days, it's made easier by the fact that we don't have kids at home now, but we will never be soulmates, will never have the sort of relationship that I dreamed of. Saying that, most of my friends don't have perfect relationships either.<br />Hannah xPatsyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08576796677497270787noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7865747070830670145.post-27180423070941946142014-11-15T13:08:09.181-08:002014-11-15T13:08:09.181-08:00Really good question, and one that I expected to b...Really good question, and one that I expected to be asked long before now! Sometimes I think I made the wrong decision by marrying Ethan. That we're not the right people for each other. Other times, I realise that every other married couple have issues, conflicts & areas where they see things differently & I wonder whether I'd have fared better with anyone else. The truth, probably is that I married him, very uncertainly, for a variety of reasons. He made me feel safe, he provided for me, looked after me in a practical way, because I could see that his heart was kind & loyal. And, to be honest, because I could see he struggled in the world & felt duty bound to help him. And I liked being needed by him. And yes, I hoped I could smooth off his rough edges. We had a really, really shaky start to our marriage but, over the years, we have learnt to love each other & are learning to accept each other the way we are, but also, for both of us, to change where we can if it means making life better for ourselves, our kids or each other. Hope that gives some explanation. And sure your husband loves you very much, even though the journey is hard at times, for both parties!Laurahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09427610766862329769noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7865747070830670145.post-62387398902454074722014-11-15T09:01:37.847-08:002014-11-15T09:01:37.847-08:00Could I just ask..... Didn't u notice these th...Could I just ask..... Didn't u notice these things of ur husband before u were married. Was he always as bad as this? Surely his good qualities outweigh his bad otherwise would u have married him?... I ask this as I have aspergers.... But I know I haven't changed in the slightest. I never pretended to be anyone else n my hubby knew who he was marrying..... But I often muse about the fact that I must make him incredibly miserable.... Why on earth did he marry me in the first place!? Was he hoping to change me!? A lot of the time I think he will leave me. So why did u marry it hubby?aspiemamhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07389246770478540847noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7865747070830670145.post-30926958514961572062014-10-02T22:52:00.047-07:002014-10-02T22:52:00.047-07:00Love the story of scowl the owl, I might buy the b...Love the story of scowl the owl, I might buy the book and read it to Mr H in bed - not a lot of anything else going on there! <br />These days I mostly let Mr H grump to his hearts content, ignore it and keep out of his way, but it's not so easy if we have friends or family staying, or if we are out, and then I do find myself trying to "jolly him along", which probably makes him worse.<br />Hannah x<br />Patsyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08576796677497270787noreply@blogger.com