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Tuesday, 5 July 2016

Aspergers and (not) adapting to circumstances

Poor old Ethan.

Another appointment missed today because of his inability to adapt and respond to circumstances.

If I had an 08.30 appointment I’d bypass a sit-down breakfast and have a coffee, cereal bar and banana in the car on the way. I’d have a quick wash or a shower the night before (or I might just bypass the whole ritual that day - being clean’s over-rated) and I’d factor in issues like rush hour traffic to my journey time.

Not so Ethan.

He got up early – in plenty of time to get to his 08.30 appointment on time. But his morning consisted of the following routine that, it seems, is near on impossible for him to deviate from:

Have a leisurely sit-down breakfast of (warmed-up) fruit on granola (he can’t have the fruit straight from the fridge – too cold) whilst reading the news on his iphone. Normally takes about thirty minutes, followed by a lengthy toilet visit and a shower (at least twenty minutes).

Factor in a bit of faffing around and a bit more time wasted by the lure of the iphone and, despite having got up at 07.00, he didn’t set off until 8.15. He returned ten minutes later as he was struck in traffic and it dawned on him that there was no way he would get to his appointment on time.

I feel slightly guilty that I didn’t step in, chivvy him along, organise him a bit more but I have myself and three kids to get sorted in the morning. Organising a 43-year old man isn’t high on my natural list of priorities. So here he is at home, dressed for a work-out with a personal trainer yet watching TV. Irritated and still insisting that the journey should only have taken fifteen minutes (rush hour seems another anathema to him).

Maybe I should take the same approach he uses on our 11-year-old daughter and confiscate his iphone. 


  1. Thank you for being brave enough to post these blogs. I recently ran across it because I recently discovered my new hubby of 2 years and his son (aged 14) both have Aspergers. I was the one who pointed it out to them and they both acknowledge it (which is rare, from what I understand). Regardless, I am thankful to find someone who is facing the same hurdles and learning along with me. I am in hopes to one day start blogging about my gleanings of this "condition" in hopes to encourage others, just as you are. Thank you again! I look forward to following your journey.

  2. Hi! Thank's for your blog, and bringing so much things in perspective for me!

  3. Hi! May I ask you a personal question? Do any of our children showing sings of Aspergers?

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