A new theme to my (rather sporadic) blog posts for the
Christmas season inspired by us decorating our tree this weekend: Christmas spoilers and blessings - as
experienced when living with a partner with Asperger’s Syndrome.
So, picture the scene, the Christmas tree is up and Ethan
comes down from the loft carrying two boxes of tree decorations – collected and
made over many years of children’s Christmases. We (my five-year-old, seven-year-old,
ten-year-old and I) tear into the boxes, excited to begin this festive family
tradition. In our box of decorations we come across tinsel, of course, and
baubles – and more baubles…every now and again the continual stream of baubles is
made more exciting by the discovery of one of the children’s first Christmas
baubles or a ceramic angel with Ava’s name on. But steadily, the box is
emptying and something is still missing. The years’ and years’ worth of toilet
roll Father Christmases and cardboard angels that are the inevitable and
personal finishing touches to any family Christmas tree… the culmination of ten
years of children’s Christmases are all gone, save for a single glittery red
stocking and a cardboard manger scene that have survived Ethan’s cull.
Unbeknown to any of us, when putting the Christmas tree
decorations back in the loft last year, Ethan had taken it upon himself to sort
through them and had chucked out ‘the old, tatty-looking decorations’! He was utterly
desensitised to the fact that these were his children’s creations, lovingly and
excitedly made and tracking their creativity from toddler-hood to present-day. He
was thinking purely practically; they’d seen better days so out they went!
I was gutted, obviously and astounded once again by the way
his mind works. However, after my emotional reaction fuelled by mulled wine, I
don’t think he’ll be doing it again! And the children have already set to work
creating new festive delights to adorn our house with!
The blessing, because I feel, particularly at this time of
goodwill, that I should counter any whinge with recognition of what I have to
be thankful for, is that Ethan has so far risen to the occasion, made the
effort, put a (sometimes slightly pained) smile on his face and has been
cheerful, sociable and (mostly) upbeat during what has been even for me a sociably-exhausting
couple of weeks.
Hoping he’s pacing himself cos we’ve got another three weeks
to go before he can slump into the hibernation of January!
My eldest son is 32, youngest is 26 and I still put their homemade ornaments on the tree! Mr H once tried to "throw out the tat" until I pointed out that I would rather throw him out. He tolerates it all now!
ReplyDeleteHave a good Christmas,
Hannah x