It's almost a year since my husband was diagnosed with Aspergers.
Relief was the strongest sensation. That there was an explanation for the rudeness, social unawareness, lack of eye contact, bluntness, insensitivity...a complete lack of any real connection at all, half the time. There was a reason for it all - my husband (and therefore my judgement) had been granted a reprieve. He wasn't a rude, awkward, blunt, insensitive person. He was a person with Aspergers. I felt like this diagnosis could save us - be the thing that stopped me resenting him quite so much, even hating him sometimes...because it wasn't his fault.
Almost a year on, that relief is still there, along with a gradually increasing understanding of how he ticks. But I've got to say, the resentment is still there too. Along with loneliness, isolation and frustration at times. But we're slowly travelling the road to enlightenment, and hopefully greater happiness and fulfillment in our marriage, together. We both really want to make it work, and we're both willing to get up when we fall, dust ourselves off and carry on. For now. We've got three kids. It doesn't feel like we have much choice.
So this blog isn't going to be an accurate, informed, scientific analysis of how to make a busy family of five work with an Aspergers dad at the helm. It's not going to give all the answers on how to have a successful (whatever that means) emotional relationship with a person with Aspergers. But it is going to give a running commentary on the highs and lows, triumphs and tragedies, laughter and tears (sometimes all at once!) of muddling through married, family life with Aspergers together.
It's proving to be a bumpy, eventful and unexpected ride...